in my garden of savage petals

Friday, March 31, 2006

coming out of the closet

ok. this is me. coming out of the closet. the fat fetish closet, that is. for as long as i can remember i have had this oh-so-secret and very hot, kinky fantasy of being extremely obese - so heavy it takes great effort for me to move myself - and also extremely submissive and needy. i'd weigh ... oh i dunno, say 600 pounds. i'd be a pear shape - big ass, big hips, big legs. and have lots of cellulite and sagging skin folds. my legs - so massive they touch at the knees and below.

i'd be a foodee ... a feedee ... a food addict. an insatiable force. and i would find myself dependent on a man who has dominant traits. getting heavier -- a sort of submission. having to eat whatever and whenever he says. not doing anything for myself because he would find that erotic - to have me just sit there -- shitting myself, too fat to do anything about it, stuffing my face.

my dominator would get off on humiliating me ... degrading me. he'd insist that i wear no clothes around the house. even if guests are over. he would share me with his friends - let them use me as they wish for their entertainment. i would dance naked for them ... and they would stick money in the crack of my fat ass. and in my various other skin folds. i'd have to work for my food. i could go on, but i'm sure you get the idea.

what is so very erotic about fat? i dunno. i just know that i have had this very kinky fantasy - secretly - for years. of course i would never act upon it - who would want to be 600 pounds, anyway. but ... i find the thought extremely erotic. and, of course, i'm not above getting off on watching someone else be 600 pounds.

ok. there. now i'm outta the closet. i think.

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

erotic torture

what do i find so erotic, so delicious, so sweet, about consentually torturing my extremely fat sex doll?

after reading a comment on yesterday's post, i found myself asking that question. it's a very interesting question, a topic i'd like to attack more in-depth another time. for me, the eroticism of it lies in its spirituality -- the way whipping, cutting or burning the beautiful flesh of my fat sex doll connects me to her in that moment. connects me to her spirit in a most intimate and primordial way.

it makes the lovemaking feel more satisfying for us. she submits herself completely, offers herself up to me. and i - i lust to possess her essence, to get under her skin, deep into her viscera, to lick the blood from her wounds. this, for me -- the ultimate connection. whipping my fat sex doll, burning her, cutting her flesh -- all ways of marking her beautiful, tender flesh. marking her flesh -- injecting myself into it, into her fat cells. and the scar, the gash, the burn - my vector.

this longing to inflict pain, to scar, to dominate. it's a deep longing to seed her with my lust, my lust for her vast, rippling body. to get into her, where she feels me, and cries out. my longing, my desire -- a lust to consume her. it's a savage hunger. my deepest erotic fantasy, i guess, evolves out of a savage hunger - to inflict pain. consuming, dominating -- a desire to conquer, perhaps? who knows ... ?

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Monday, March 20, 2006

how do i like my women?

i like my women extremely fat, extremely helpless and extremely submissive. i like them whiny - the kind that whimper a lot and beg for mercy. the kind that are weak in every sense of the word. i like a woman willing to forgo dignity, a woman who craves humiliation, domination. a woman who will get fat beyond all belief because i want her to. a woman who's only life purpose will be to serve as my pleasure object, my fat sex doll.

a fat sex doll i can use, abuse, degrade, humiliate, control and share as i see fit. i want to dig my long, sharp nails into her soft fat - drawing blood. i want to mark her soft, dimpled thigh - burn her, and listen to her abundant fat sizzle. and watch her writhe in pain. and get aroused at the same time.

i like a woman so fat, so weak, so helpless and dependent that she cannot do anything but just sit there, lay there, and soak it all in. a woman who does not want to do anything for herself, who wants to drown in her own fat. yes -- i want an extremely fat and submissive sex doll - a woman, the older the better, actually - to play with, that's what i want.

if there a woman out there that meet this description, do let savage petals know about her!

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